Aside from the idea of senseless dismemberment, what scares Pac?
Yes, Baby Jane scares me.
JB joked about my movie choice. Said it reminded him of when he was recovering from his hip replacement surgery and I was forced to do the cooking.
I remembered that too. It was last Halloween. I gave him a buzzer to call me if he needed anything. Unlike Blanche's buzzer, JB's was wireless and sent text messages if I wasn't at home. You know, "Help I've fallen and I cant get up!" (As much as I try to be polite and use proper grammar at all times, my 911 transcript will probably read "YES I fell Einstein, now will you send me some goddamn help already!")
Unlike Jane, I wasn't downstairs forging checks for liquor deliveries. (We have a joint Amex.) And while I couldn't rip the buzzer button out of the wall, I did consider once or twice removing the batteries from the walker I pimped out for him. (Seriously, that thing had handsfree calling, a headlight and remote control of the A/V system, the HVAC system and every light in the house. Not to mention his "OnStar" panic button. The only thing missing was navigation, a cup holder and LED accent lighting, but that was only at JB's insistence of enough already.)
Fast forward to this past March when JB was finally back to work, I looked at that walker which had now become a rack for my laundry. "Time to put you, and your pals 'shower chair' and 'bedside commode' in storage while we try to find you all a good home," I thought. The last thing I expected was for JB to return home from his third trip back on the job unable to walk.
He had been complaining of pain in his groin and knee for months. The surgeon and therapist reassured us it was part of the normal recovery process. Not having a frame of reference for such things and knowing JB's tendency toward hypochondria, I regretfully admit siding with them. Already having extended his sick leave once, JB decided to suck it up and get back to work. But I could tell he was afraid. He was in Dusseldorf when his acetabular implant dislodged.
Fortunately the revision surgery and subsequent therapy couldn't have gone more smoothly. The pimped out walker was back on laundry rack duty only a week later. And JB was back in the kitchen on his first day home. After being briefly reacquainted with hospital food, he wasn't in the mood for further surprises delivered on covered plates.
|Found this and more on|
OOAK Barbies Blog.
And this All-Hallows morning I'm once again resolved that, while life may be fleeting, I'm not going to just bend over and let Time make me his bitch. Not without an extended, extravagant courtship process where I'll play hard-to-get as long as possible, then demand a pre-nup.