Monday, March 7, 2011

Five Degrees: Dumbest Thing

This week I'm going to try following StevieB's Five Degree themes.

I must admit, this assignment has been a tough one. Not because I don't have any "dumbest" things to write about, but because there are so many.

Some of my dumbest things are humorous and humbling. Like that time in college when I went all out getting ready for a theme party with a really dumb theme. Then waking up in the morning in a strange, empty house 2 miles from home with no vehicle, no keys and not even my ID. There's not quite any walk of shame like walking home at 9am dressed like a "hobo", only having to do the climb of shame to break into your own second-story apartment.

All's well that ends with all charges dropped, I suppose.

Then there are the dumb things that can stick with a person longer than thorn bush scratches.

Not asking for help when you need it. That's dumb. Thinking work always comes before spending quality time with family is dumb. Not listening to advice from a drag queen? Really dumb. Telling your buddies all about your fun Armenian lesbian friend in the back of a Chicago cab without stopping to consider the possibility our cab driver might just be related to her. Painfully dumb.

I'd have to say the top dumbest thing was that phase of my life where I actually believed I had nothing in common with my father. In my mind he was conservative, close-minded and would never accept my homosexuality. Telling him I was gay wasn't an option. Of all my siblings, I had the most adversarial relationship with Dad. It wasn't until later I realized all our head-butting wasn't because we were so different, but because we were so alike.

It was dumb to dismiss my dad because he had a high-school education and a blue-collar job. I dismissed the hundreds, no thousands, of books he read and his wild futuristic ideas. I remember him telling us over 30 years ago that we'd someday buy a television and hang it on the wall like a painting. I looked at our 400-pound Curtis Mathis, casting a glow from behind as bright as the glow from the front, and tried to imagine what that would be like. Now I can't watch TV without thinking about him.

It was dumb to wait so long to realize how amazing this person was. And dumb not to trust him with my real self.

4 comments:

  1. That was amazing reading, thanks for sharing that.

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  2. Incredible! Thanks! I can relate! So I appreciate reading this! Well done.

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  3. Nicely done, and thanks for sharing it with us.

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  4. Wow, that's really touching. Thanks for sharing.

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