Thursday, March 17, 2011


My neurotic friend Eddie's cupboard.
No food, just this. For a guy with a
debilitating fear of public restrooms, this
must be his way of living on the edge.

One of my dietary goals over Lent is getting my cholesterol down. I had a physical in December and Dr. Dilf wants to start me on statins if I don't show improvement by April. Once you start that stuff, you're on it for life. Maybe statins really do help some people, and maybe Dr. Dilf is right when he says my reluctance is unwarranted. I think my reluctance is perfectly warranted.

One tip he gave me was to supplement my diet with soluble fiber. (I'm officially old now. Go ahead, laugh it up.) So after stirring up a half a glass of the tangy-but-not-Tang drink this morning I was distracted by a text message. While scrolling through my tweets I absent-mindedly reached for the glass, tipped it back and... nothing. My half-full glass of liquid was now a full glass of thick orange pudding.

As I threatened to overwhelm the garbage disposal with the quart of sludge and stirred up another glass I thought, so that's how this stuff works.


  1. Sounds er... delicious. Really delicious.
    *bolts for the door*

  2. Don't wanta know how the Crisco spray fits in.

  3. Metamucil also comes in cookie/wafer/disguised-as-fun-food form. And I'm with StevieB on the Crisco. The mind does wander . . . .