Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Name Of God

I apologize for my obsessive political ramblings of late. I suffer from that on occasion. It's like my version of Pon Farr, only instead of mating it's politics. And instead of every seven years it's four. And the only remotely Vulcan-like person in this star system is Rachel Maddow. Otherwise the analogy is apt.

After Michelle Obama's masterful speech on the opening night of the DNC where her acknowledgement of my right to marry to man I love brought me to tears, I foolishly decided to harsh my buzz by checking out what Fox News had to say. This isn't as easy as it sounds, as it required me to dig deep into my Tivo settings to re-add Fox News to my channel line-up.

The first thing I see is Greta Van Susteren's oddly modified facial features asking the same question over and over: "Why isn't 'God' mentioned in the Democratic party platform? Not even once?" She seemed obsessively single-minded about this.

She asked one Democrat, "Was this an oversight, or an intentional omission?" The ambush news equivalent of "When did you stop beating your wife?" And the schmuck stepped right into her trap, stammering for an answer before name-dropping Jesus repeatedly. Cringe.

Here's my suggestion to any DNC representatives who plan on talking to anyone from Fox News regarding the correct way to address this question:
"You're correct, Greta, while acknowledging concerns of faith, the DNC platform does not specifically mention God's name, just as the Constitution of the Untied States does not. My personal belief is that God prefers to manifest himself in the hearts and minds of individuals of all persuasions rather than be frozen on some partisan policy document assembled by an agenda-driven committee that presumes to speak for Him.

"Please keep in mind that I'm not speaking for my party, but expressing my own constitutionally-protected viewpoint when I say that I give God credit for being smart enough to see through any servile attempt to gain political advantage by trying to make ourselves appear more pious than our brothers and sisters on the other side of the aisle.

"If you like, we can discuss the entire section of the platform sub-headed 'Faith' which recognizes and upholds the unique protections given to religion by our Constitution and is respectfully worded in a way that doesn't exclude one single American citizen, regardless of his or her religion, creed or conscientiously held belief."
Or if you're feeling rushed:
"To which god are you referring, Greta? Xenu? Would you like our platform to declare your freaky Church of Scientology to be the established religion of this country? Did your cosmetic surgeon snip a nerve? No, really, you're drooling a little. Other side."
And cut to Viagra commercial. Feel free to use either one.

But Greta knows the score, doubtless given instructions to hammer relentlessly on this point so as to maximize divisiveness by painting the Democratic Party as (gasp) godless. Just as Fox News had been doing all day long:

Did you notice how the stats on 'God' references in the Republican platform are only provided for this year, while stats for the Democratic platform go all the way back to 2000? There's a reason for that, as Media Matters expertly points out. It's because including Republican stats for those years would show the Democratic platform has historically invoked the name of God more often than the Republican platform has.

This graph emphasizes the question we should be asking... Why the uncharacteristic sixfold surge in appeals to Ceiling Cat in this year's Republican platform?

Could it be a defense mechanism to quell the unspoken, yet palpable discomfort felt by "mainstream" Christians who find themselves in the awkward position of having to support a candidate whose theological precepts are far, far, far more foreign to them than those of the president they hope to displace?

That might be part of it. But a big factor is that this year's GOP platform committee was appropriated by tea-baggers and far-right Christian organizations animated by their opposition to marriage equality, on top of their standard, run-of-the-mill authoritarian complex. This includes Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, one of the hate groups supported by Chick-fil-a profits. And David Barton, disgraced anti-gay historical revisionist who wants desperately to convince us Thomas Jefferson was an evangelical Christian and not a Diest at all. Oh, and Phyllis Schlafly. Yes, evidently she's still alive and kicking gays. That old bat doesn't just believe marriage is between a man and a woman, but that it's a sacred covenant that grants a man license to rape his wife. (She asked for it when she said, "I do.")

So this god that's mentioned twelve times in the GOP platform? That particular version of God doesn't care much for me, or people like me. This God doesn't apply to muslims or sikhs either. And while these tea-bagging christians won't say so in public – at least not during the campaign – they know in their self-righteous hearts it isn't really Romney's God either.

Exclusion and alienation, all in the name of God. I'll choose the godless platform, thank you.

"Stop telling Me where to send My hurricanes, bitches!"


  1. Mentioning God? The Republicans god is MONEY, as their billionaire altar boys scurry around....
    Those who would destroy Social Security & voucher Medicare to death, and who readily admit they “don’t care about the very poor” should stop, remember, and take to heart the words “Whatsoever you do for the least of these - you do for me”.
    Our Founding Fathers wisely realized that politics, secular power, and religion do not mix. That it would bring out the worst in each other. That ultimately they would destroy each other, and us, in the process.

  2. Excellent post! I am so tired of the GOP pandering to a public with no critical thinking skills. sigh. The GOP in Texas wanted to ban Critical Thinking classes... who is surprised at that. another deep sigh...

  3. Completely agree with you and couldn't have said it better myself.