Friday, January 18, 2013

Suck It Up, Pac

The first week of the new year I took a couple sick days to contain my cold germs to my own house. (I try to be considerate that way.) This downtime gave me an opportunity to consider how commercials on daytime television take a different tone during the week day than they do on the weekend.

Obviously advertisers make every effort to maximize their air-time purchases by matching their message to a targeted audience. That's why you see beer commercials during football games and why Fox News Channel is awash with ads for hair transplants, testosterone boosting supplements and erectile dysfunction pills.

As I reclined on the sofa in an over-the-counter haze, I flipped through the channels and found it interesting how many commercials target people who, like myself, obviously aren't at work right now.

I understand why vocational schools would target this audience. Who wouldn't dream of attending the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu? And isn't it convenient that, unlike back in Julia's day, you don't have to go all the way to Paris to do so? Not when there's a branch campus in Tucker, Georgia.

Then there are all the places that really want to buy your "excess" gold. Or who will happily pay you one lump sum to take that annoying annuity off your hands. Even more off-putting are all the commercials by various competing disability lawyers. Hurt in a traffic accident? Slip and fall at work? Shafted by your insurance company? Does your trans-vaginal mesh make typing difficult and intercourse painful? One call, that's all.

The more I watched, the more I felt like a ginormous pussy, sloughing off work because my nose was stuffy. Until finally I got up from that couch, turned off the TV, took another slug of NyQuil straight from the bottle, and moved to the bed.

1 comment:

  1. So which one did you end up purchasing in your semi-comatose Nyquil state? The spray on hair or the ED pills?