Evidently, this is a quality that snakes have in common with straight human females. No, I'm not talking about eating habits; human females must consume food daily. The commonality is that it only takes a single gesture of romance and appreciation to sustain a woman's love for an entire year.
That's the marketing message behind Valentine's Day, isn't it?
But heaven help the man near her feeding end if it isn't a one hell of a gesture.
|Flowers? Really? Rookie mistake.|
They'll only remind her of her swiftly vanishing youth and the inevitability of death.
|Chocolates say "I love you..." (awkward pause) "...no matter how fat you get."|
|Has anyone told the gays that even after marriage, you still have to pay for sex?|
They might want to know that.
|Like anyone really wants a full-scale Zach Galifianakis doll for Valentine's Day.|
Wait... Is that couple making a bear sandwich?
I just may need to rethink this whole "bring a bear home for Valentine's" thing.