Monday, March 4, 2013

I Just Wanna Sleep, Monster Edition

Finally, the conclusion of my responses to Just A Jeep Guy's TMI Questions about sleep.

8. What kind of sleeper are you?

Thanks to my FitBit, I can objectively answer this with data...

I don't remember waking up all seven times, but I do remember JB getting up to use the bathroom at some point during the night and my fat cat sticking his ass in my face around 5. I got out of bed once around 5:30 to pee. This represents a fairly typical night for me.

I wish the FitBit sleep data presentation was as informative as the Sleep Cycle app, which better shows the stages of sleep on a graph. I can sort of make out my 90-minute REM cycle here. But since the FitBit is worn on the wrist instead of measuring the movement of the entire bed, it's probably more accurate when sharing the bed.

9. What is under your bed?

When I was a kid there was a monster under my bed. Its favorite thing in the world was to quietly wait for unsuspecting passers-by, then reach out and grab their ankles. That's why I could never get in or out of bed without a running leap, which annoyed my mother to no end. Eventually as I reached adolescence the monster disappeared, probably repulsed by the accumulation of crunchy tube socks polluting its habitat.

Recently, since replacing the bedroom carpeting with hardwood, the monsters have returned. This time taking the form of ferocious dust-bunnies and drifting balls of cat hair the size of cantaloupes. To combat this menace I now keep Muncher (my Roomba robotic vacuum cleaner) under the bed, thus fostering a savage predator/prey ecosystem under there.

At least until Muncher chokes on a sock.


  1. According to Feng Shui guidlines, there should be nothing under your bed.

    1. I think I've established my ying and yang. :)