Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Great Eggo Crisis

It's another soggy morning in Atlanta. No shock there, it seems like it's been raining every day for weeks. Still, it's better than the drought we had a few years ago. My PTSD still flares up when I flush.

I was reading an article yesterday on Weather Underground. It seems we have a "cut off low" hanging over us. Neat.

A cut-off low is the meteorological equivalent of that guy at work who, when he hears two or more people enjoying a spirited conversation, drifts over to dominate the discourse with a barely related personal anecdote about once being part of the Jet Stream which he thinks makes himself appear cool but really just bores the hell out of everyone. Unable to read the social cues, he drones on until all you can do is wait for a two second gap to say, "Well, I better get back to work." At which point everyone scatters back to their desks leaving the cut-off low drifting in search of the next ray of sunshine he can precipitate the fun out of.

Yes, it's just like that.

The article mentions that while this weekend's weather system raised area rivers to flood stage, it isn't as bad as the "Great Atlanta Flood of 2009".

What?? I missed a Great Flood?  Following the link to Wikipedia, I was curious to read about the disaster I can't remember effortlessly surviving.

Okay, I think it's coming back to me now. I recall clips on the news of some of the roller coasters at Six Flags getting swamped. Ten people died. No, not at Six Flags. (Although that place is deadly.) Most of the victims perished in their cars on flooded streets. I imagine their last words being, "That puddle looks deep. Finally, an opportunity to justify my purchase of a 4x4 SUV even though I never leave the city."

Then I came to this factoid...
"Located along the Chattahoochee River in west Atlanta, the R.M. Clayton sewage treatment plant, the largest in the Southeastern U.S., was swamped with four feet of water as the river rose by twelve additional feet. Millions of gallons of untreated sewage were released into the rising waters."
That's gross. But it was the rest of that paragraph that seemed oddly non sequiter...
"Also located near the Chattahoochee, a Kellogg Company food plant was flooded, resulting in the closure of the plant and a subsequent national shortage of waffles."
Now I'm afraid. Not only do I not remember the Great Flood of 2009, I have absolutely no recollection of soggy, sewage-tainted breakfast pastries precipitating a nation-wide waffle shortage? Not one memory of the ensuing hoarding, looting and government-imposed waffle rationing? Really? You'd think I'd remember something like that.

Note to self: make an appointment to get checked for Alzheimer's. I should probably write that down somewhere.


"You were warned."

Where were you during the Great Eggo Shortage of '09?



2 comments:

  1. OMG the waffle picture is great. For you with dementia, I SAID, 'that waffle picture is great!"

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    1. LOL! I'm forgetful, not deaf. :) The pic links back to where I swiped it from. I'd love to make those for breakfast one day.

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