Thursday, June 13, 2013

Splash & Flash

A continuation of yesterday's post making fun of the swimwear I found in my latest UnderGear catalog.

If anyone begins to appear suspicious,
distract them by comparing penile
enhancement surgery scars.

Who says cruising on a budget means having to choose between liquor or pool couture? You can have it both ways with this crafty low-rise "napkini", some assembly required. So creatively stylish, nobody needs to know you acquired this hot little number from the lido deck buffet. Seriously, don't tell anyone.

Wondering how to show your Log Cabin stripes on your next gay cruise? Nobody will remember you voted for Romney after hoisting this red, white and blue mankini. Guaranteed to make any patriot act, if you're not the center of attention when entering your next tea dance or tea party meeting, you're sure to turn heads when you leave. You see, this new glory is actually a thong. God Bless America!
Oh say can you see?

A treat for all the senses, one whiff of this getup will have all the boys thinking "escort". After all, you can't possibly be the only queer on the boat who lost his virginity in the backseat of his mom's Ford Escort. If you're not too hot to touch, then your ass must be parked in the shade. Guaranteed to keep its new-car smell for seven days or 7,000 miles. (Void if exposed to chlorine. Or moisture. Or ultraviolet radiation.)

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