Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Unnecessary Compensation

Thanks Joe...
Do they make these for men?
After two weeks with Joe's computer taking up space on my dining room table, I returned it to him last weekend in like-new condition. To express his appreciation, he disappeared into his back closet and emerged with a brand new pair of Oakley sunglasses.

I'm sure he picked them up on one of his trips to Asia or the Middle East, where he usually stocks up on stocking stuffers. And by "stocking stuffers", I mean cheap knockoffs he likes to keep on hand as impromptu gifts.

Wow, Joe! Thanks for the...
wait, Boze?
Last time, after getting his TV back on the correct input, he thanked me with a pair of Bose headphones. I used them once when I couldn't find my Apple earbuds. They came apart on the treadmill. I worried for a moment I was going to have to make a trip to the ER, but I was able to coax the plastic fragment out of my ear canal using the same technique as when water gets in my ears at the pool.

Only it looks way stupider standing in the middle of a crowded gym tilting my head sideways as I pound the opposite temple with the heel of my palm. Especially considering my gym has no pool.

I obviously don't do favors for my ex for the Alvin and the Chipmunks bootleg blu-rays. I do it because he's my friend. And because he's good to JB. And because a happy Joe just makes the world a better place for everybody.

Thanks, StevieB, for noticing the
Axe bodywash in my shower.
How embarrassing.


  1. When the ladies come chasing after you, I just want you to know why. Nice shades.

  2. Oh, and can you cut glass with that jaw line?

  3. If you don't like the glasses, you can always send it here... ;)