Thursday, August 22, 2013

Veering Off-Topic

I've got a hot mess of church bus mayhem coming your way. Not literally I hope, but do be careful. (My high school driver ed teacher called it "A Constant State of Situational Awareness". Which in its own way sounded vaguely spiritual.)

It's been a busy month for Christians returning from summer prayer retreats and pilgrimages only to find themselves veering, careening, plunging, barrel-rolling or catapulting their way through the Pearly Gates.

Evidently seat belts are for ye of little faith. When God is your co-pilot and Jesus your GPS, the Holy Spirit is the only supplemental restraint system you'll ever need.

I'm still sifting through these all because my Google alert for church vehicle accidents often includes several red herrings. For example, a city bus crash on Church Street gets flagged. Same when a van forces a police car off the road which then crashes through a church. These are often entertaining in their own right even if they're not what I was originally looking for.

Here are a couple of these off-topic items to enjoy as I wrap up this month's holy crash scene investigations.

This one was flagged because the man who fell off the roof is a pastor, and his church members have been visiting him in the hospital since his accident. I find it difficult to believe this headline wasn't intentionally written to make me laugh. Or is it possible my sense of humor is so far removed from, uh, where is this? Manhattan... Kansas? Yeah.

The moral of this story: The only thing slightly less dumb than falling off a roof is falling off the roof of a hospital emergency room.

I don't know how this next article got flagged, but I think it's cool. You know, in a Dukes-of-Hazzard way. Maybe the truck was driven by a nun running 'shine.


  1. I didn't realize you were so addicted to church van/bus accidents. Maybe I need a new hobby... yours sounds so much fun!

  2. usually the buses that crash are on their way to or from casinos.