Thursday, August 8, 2013


Whaa, Whaa.
Today I noticed I've written two blog posts in the past week, both of them still in "draft". Why haven't I posted them? To be honest, I've been kind of a pill lately and both read like they were written by Debbie Downer.

I've been on my prepared meal phase for a week and a half now. Remember those public service commercials where they fry an egg to represent a brain on drugs? Well, my brain on a diet is no picnic either. See what just happened there? I said "picnic" and now I'm thinking about hot dogs, potato chips and macaroni salad. And fried eggs.

It's funny the things I normally take for granted that stick out like a sore thumb when I'm dieting. Have you ever noticed how many nighttime TV commercials advertise food? Especially fast food and pizza delivery chains. When JB has the remote, I find myself just going to bed early.

Then there are the things I rarely eat under normal circumstances that I suddenly find myself craving. I stopped eating chicken wings years ago after getting braces. Wings are such a social food after all, and I found a smile full of bird sinew to be incongruous with modern social norms outside of France. Even three years post-braces, I still find myself avoiding finger food that comes on bones or cobs.

Yet the other night I had a dream about hot wings. Baskets full of spicy chicken wings dipped in bleu cheese dressing. I awoke with a start to find my cat, who has taken to sleeping on my pillow lately, drenched in saliva. Only this time it wasn't his.

I suggested that he might want to sleep in his own bed for the next few weeks.


  1. When you look at porn does it make you hungry for hot dogs? ;)

  2. As long as you don't break down and eat Taco Bell, you'll be fine. Probably.

  3. At least the cat's foot wasn't in your mouth. It wasn't, was it?