Monday, September 23, 2013

Men In Hosen

This weekend was the official kick-off of the 180th Oktoberfest celebration in Munich, Germany. This year I chose not to join my friends on our annual beer & sausage pilgrimage. My vacation days (and budget) are earmarked for February's Big Gay Cruise.

But Sunday, with nearly all my friends out of town, I found myself wistfully reminiscing about last year's trip. I even went so far as pulling my lederhosen out of storage and trying them on. I sent a pic to my friend, Alice, who tried to convince me to come over to her restaurant in my Bavarian getup. I considered it for a minute but chose to stay home. Maybe next weekend.

While putting my lederhosen away, I decided I need to take them to a good tailor for some alterations. The leather has relaxed considerably since I first tried them on last year. What was then claustrophobic are now feeling a bit loose. I'd like to say the diet has something to do with that, but I noticed this relaxation occurring as last year's festival progressed. I guess they're kind of like a baseball glove. They're getting more comfortable as I wear them in, the laces just need to be tightened a bit.

Also one of my suspender buttons popped off last year in the gay tent. I kind of expected those buttons to be the weak link, but it was still a great excuse to get on my hands and knees. I never did find my button but the pants came with a couple spares. I just need to remember where I put them.

I don't see why I need to rely on these buttons to fasten the suspenders when I can't imagine why I'd ever need to detach them. I'm going to see if they can permanently attach the suspenders to the pants and keep the buttons as purely decorative.

I'm also considering asking if they can replace the buttons on the inner fly, beneath the flap, with a zipper. This would make trips to the urinal troughs much simpler, perhaps allowing me to better focus on the scenery. While I'm at it, why not have them put in velcro for affixing the flap? While this may spoil the "authenticity" of my fancy pants, I'm not worried about their resale value. I don't foresee my needing to buy another pair of lederhosen in the near or distant future.

One last modification I'd like to make to my lederhosen came to me during last year's festivities. While I never once felt unsafe in Germany, a large crowded event like Oktoberfest is bound to attract pickpockets. And after a gallon of beer, I don't need anyone's help losing my wallet or dropping cash while reaching into my pocket for a Tic-Tac.

It occurred to me that the best place to keep my cash and cards would be in a zippered pocket placed strategically behind the decorative chest strap that connects the suspenders. (I'm sure there's a German word for that thing. Brustgurt?)

I'm going to get a zippered pocket installed in the backside of my Brustgurt.

A good pair of lederhosen arelike a classic car.
It's does them good to take them out for a spin
every once in a while.


  1. Wow!! Look at you all skinny!
    Oh... and how do you say "HAWT" in German?

  2. I totally want a pair of lederhosen. It's irrational, but I do.