Monday, October 21, 2013

"I'm A Big Ol Bear!"

I'm looking for a costume for a Halloween party next weekend. I'm kind of over the horse head mask. And the unicorn head mask. I do have a penguin head mask I haven't worn yet, but it's way more disturbing than the others. It looks like something Hitchcock would have dreamed up had he included murderous penguins in his aviarsonal. Not only does its beak look like it could accidentally peck somebody's eyeball out, it's menacing expression suggests it has every intention of doing exactly that.

I started looking online for a kinder, cuddlier costume when I came across a cute fuzzy bear costume. I love it, but I'm not sure I want to spend that much for a Halloween costume. Although I suppose I could maximize my investment by attending Furry parties and conventions. Heck, a bear costume might even come in handy on the Big Gay Cruise. (Relax Stevie, I'm joking.)

The reason I like this costume so much is because it reminds me of the kid in The Onion video: "Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes for your Effeminate Son":

I browsed online for a while looking at different options. Slutty cop. Slutty pirate. Slutty alter boy. I began to realize Amazon's recommendation algorithms have my sense of humor computed to a high degree of accuracy when they suggested this unlikely combination of items...

I would totally spend $38.66 to go to a party dressed as Daffy Christ. "Judath... you're dithpicable!"


  1. All I'm saying is that you would be in the Caribbean in 99% humidity. Drunk on a boat. In fur. Head to toe fur. That's why I'm shaving my back.

  2. I have a sock monkey outfit you could borrow.

  3. LOL. I loved that video. I think I posted it a few years ago - though I know I emailed it almost everyone I know.

    But you could always go as Dr. Howie Feltersnatch.

  4. How about the bear suit with the unicorn head? You can say that you're part of Ylvis.

  5. As a tip-- masks make it exceedingly hard to drink.