Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Man With Something Extra

I started replying to comments on yesterday's post, but decided this deserved a post of its own.

Blobby: "As it stands, even if successful, 1 out of 3 Gregs are not the best odds. Better to cut your losses and run from anyone with that name. : )"

Talk about odds, TWO of the Gregs had three nipples! Now I never judge someone by physical characteristics he has no control over. But...

Jeez man! Unless tweaking that thing gave me a full-body orgasm, I would have made an appointment with a cosmetic surgeon before it grew its first hair.

Have you been with a guy with an extra nipple? It's awkward. It's not like I expect anyone to bring it up in casual pre-coital conversation. ("You enjoy nipple play? Well then, have I got a treat for you!") So unless the A/C is blasting, it's almost always going to be a surprise.

And when things get intimate, you're never sure if you're supposed to ignore the thing or give it equal time. No matter which choice you make, you're going to start second-guessing yourself. Usually when you're suckling his abs. (Some guys have treasure trails, other's have milk lines.)

My advice, should you ever find yourself with a polytheliac: Pause a moment to discuss the elephant in the room. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Express genuine interest and curiosity. Excitement even, if you can. Ask if he gets stimulation from playing with it. If he does, go for it! And if he doesn't, ask why on earth it's still there.

According to Wikipedia, one in eighteen men has an "accessory nipple". (I adore that term! Accessory nipple. Actually makes it sound like something you'd see a surgeon to have added rather than removed. I picture Rob Lowe's character on Behind the Candelabra throwing in a free accessory nipple with every chin implant.)

Wait... One in eighteen???

So why am I giving advice to you sluts? You should be telling me. And to the one of my readers who has a 33% chance of rocking an accessory nipple: I love you man, stand proud and don't ever change!

BosGuy: "I love this post, and by the way, WTF you doing w my buddy Damian anyway?"

Damian was my dermatologist's assistant calling with my lab results. That suspicious mole... accessory nipple.



2 comments:

  1. I've never met anyone with an accessory nipple!

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  2. 1 in 18???

    Statistically, I should have come across one.....dozen. I've come across none - not even named "Greg". (but good Rob Lowe reference!)

    ReplyDelete