Tuesday, December 17, 2013


I'm not a superstitious person. My partner, JB, on the other hand is pathologically superstitious. A common complaint is the feeling that someone has given him "mal de ojo". The evil eye.

I've learned that laughing doesn't help him feel better. Quite the opposite, in fact. So my new course of action is to humor him while asking questions aimed at helping him recognize the actual source of his feelings of unease and paranoia.

"Evil eye? Who do you think would do such a thing to you?"

"I dunno. Could be anybody."

Well, I tried.

The primary cure for the ojo is a ritual involving a room-temperature egg and a bowl of water. The egg is passed repeatedly over the victim's body in an effort to draw out and absorb the negative energy. Like a magic ShamWow. Okay, like a magicker ShamWow.

You then crack the evil-saturated egg into the bowl of water. If the resulting soup appears to be looking back at you, you have your proof that you were cursed. And really, when does a raw egg floating in water not look eyeballish?

I've so far avoided actually performing this ritual on JB, although I did offer once. After exhausting all rational efforts, I was willing to give it a try if it would help him to feel better. But he declined, saying "I know you don't believe in that stuff."

Obviously this makes me unqualified to rub him with an egg.

Good thing JB wasn't home on Friday the 13th
when our black cat knocked over a mirror.


  1. How about an Egg Mcmuffin? See if he wouldn't mind a Mcmuffin rubbed over his body. Offer to make it the egg white version. Then, it would be healthy.

  2. Even the most superstitious Mexican would find it hard to imagine a soggy McMuffin looking like an eyeball. Plus I suspect the cholesterol is important for this procedure.