Monday, April 21, 2014

Servo Sunday

Another Easter come and gone. My post-holiday depression is exacerbated by symptoms of Reese's Peanut Butter Egg pre-diabetes and the fact that I'm still decorating my Easter eggs by dipping them in colored vinegar water.

Seriously. It's twenty-fucking-fourteen and I'm using the same technology popularized by Pontius Pilate, who felt throwing plain white eggs at crucifixions just wasn't festive enough. (Let's keep a lid on Pilate's flamboyant homosexuality. The Family Research Council would have a field day with that.)

Except for the occasional curve PAAS likes to throw at complacent dopes who think that after forty-plus years they have the instructions committed to memory. Yesterday morning I took the three dozen eggs that I hard-boiled on Saturday night out of the fridge and sat down to work, only to find I was supposed to grind the enclosed wax coloring crayons onto still boiling-hot eggs. Don't even get me started about how I spend my Saturday nights.

Well no more. As Jesus is my witness, I will no longer celebrate his undeath like a stone-age gentile. By this time next year I'm going to be the proud owner of one of these bad boys...

That's right. Why stain my fingers when I can express my passion for Christ with three-hundred bucks worth of servo controllers and ten thousand lines of code? The future of pseudo-pagan religious tradition is robotic, my friends.

1 comment:

  1. Don't knock Pontius. He did start Pilates.

    oh and there's this....for you....