Friday, August 8, 2014

The Enterprise Edition

I apologize for my recent dearth of updates. On the positive side, I've been doing lots of bloggin' in my noggin. On the neutral side, today is my last day at my current job. On the negative side, I have yet to find my next adventure. (On the double-plus side, I promise never to use "bloggin' in my noggin" again. Or "dearth".)

Three weeks ago today the acquisition of the company for which I've labored for the past 5 years and 10 months was approved by our shareholders. From the time of the announcement three months ago up until that approval, our modus operandi was "apprehensively stay the course". I, being the non-felonious Martha Stewart of any room I happen to be in, thought the impending change could be a good thing. I, for one, welcomed our mysterious private Macon-based overlords.

I was wrong. The following Monday I came into the office to find my team's beloved scrum whiteboard missing. (Yes, scrum. We were Agile with a capital "A" and three syllables.)

Is that an oxymoron? To find something missing? Anyway, when I finally found it found, it was crammed into the main conference room with a ton of other office furnishings. A literal ton. That should have been my first clue.

My second clue was learning we had an arbitrarily-decreed 60 days to decommission our existing CRM system and replace it with their existing Microsoft SQL Server. My third clue was being constantly corrected when I used the third-person pronoun, "they". As in, "Are they fucking nuts?"

To be fair, I was assured "we" would soon be upgrading "our" SQL Server to the "Enterprise" edition. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have asked if that would require another trip to Office Depot. (Evidently it's some sort of in-app purchase.)

Two weeks ago I was told my services would no longer be required. As it was now painfully obvious that business continuity isn't "their" thing, I didn't take it personally. I was given two weeks to pack my personal effects and finish 160 hours of work. I finished that work yesterday afternoon before getting drunk. Today I'm going in to fetch my MacBook charger, bluetooth keyboard and Magic Mouse.

Before getting drunk.


  1. Sorry to hear Mr. Pac. That is always a bummer. I've been there too often. I'm feeling the pain.

  2. Crap. Use the BF's passes to come up to Boston for a weekend and I can help you with your drinking. I'm good like that.

    1. I know it's been a while since YOUR hot-blooded Latin man worked for the airline, but surely you remember passes are not to be used to visit men you've met online without a chaperone.

      I'll buy a ticket.

  3. I'm sorry that you lost your job. Like Blobby, I have been there too. It sucks, but life goes on (just differently). Hopefully you'll find an even better, more enjoyable job.


  4. with your talent and knowledge in the field you will bounce back very quickly I'm sure.