Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Expectation Gap

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... underwear.


I think this is JB's not-so-subtle way of telling me to get a job.

At first I thought I saw an Apple Store gift card tucked inside. Sadly it was just the tag. A giant underpants tag. A giant, four-page underpants tag.


I'm sure these undies will come in handy if I ever need to surrender. Or shart.

I think the fourth page is intentionally left blank for me to write my name.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Go Pack Go

Who needs hand-warmers when deep-fried
cheese curds do the job just as well?
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of holiday travel. We visited the JB's family in Chicago and mine in Green Bay. My sister's gift this Christmas was Packers tickets. The Monday Night Football match against the Falcons. Although I now live in Atlanta, my allegiance will always be to my first home team.

My mom was the biggest Packers fan ever. I think her pet name for me as a toddler was "Packer" because she dreamed of me one day playing on Lambeau Field. That, or she already sensed I was gay and my childhood nickname was actually a homophobic slur.

The game was so much fun. I had a blast watching JB's first Lambeau experience. Out of the 75,000 people at the game, I'm pretty sure there was only one Mexican wearing a cheesehead.

I called JB "Nacho". Just once.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Nocturnal Python

What does it mean when Jesus appears to you in a dream? It happened to me early this morning. In my dream a "nazarene" was also the name for a type of lounge chair. This created endless opportunity for comical confusion.

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up laughing.