Thursday, October 15, 2015

Who Let The Dogs In?

Atlanta's Gay Pride celebration was last weekend and my post-pride buzz, just like all the glitter, is slow to dissipate. What made this year's Pride extra-sparkly was the presence of none other than Denver's very adorable Stevie B. It was like what I imagine experiencing a double rainbow would be like.

While I've been to visit Stevie in Denver and we've also vacationed together, this was my first chance to show him my world. I was a little nervous about this because – and I'm letting you in on a little secret here – my life isn't nearly as exciting and glamorous as I let on.

Also, as we're in the midst of home renovations, my hospitality skills were severely challenged. Imagine Martha Steward without a kitchen, confined to an empty shell of a living space with merely a toilet, a cot and wi-fi as her only conveniences. Go ahead, just try to imagine that.

Despite the challenges, I think the weekend went pretty well. There were a few things, however, I think I could have done better. Over the past few day's I've been compiling a list of areas of improvement for Stevie's next visit:

1.) More food stops. It was on the cruise when I first began to notice that Stevie has the metabolism of a hummingbird. As such, he needs small amounts of nutrition delivered in near-constant intervals. If Stevie goes more than two hours without eating, he loses his ability to hover. I should have been more prepared. Fortunately the Pride festival in the park provided ample opportunities for caloric intake. And I do love me some funnel cake!

2.) Less homophobes. Upon entering Piedmont Park to enjoy the festivities, we were called "dogs" by a particularly nasty street preacher. I've never been called a dog before. All I could say was, "woof!" We all had a good laugh about it, but who needs ugly homophobes putting a dent in our southern hospitality? Next time we'll look for a non-churchy entrance to the park.

3.) No Facts of Life. While waiting for the Eagle to open Saturday night, I was super excited for my chance to actually watch Doctor Who in the same room as Stevie B. I tuned the telly to BBC America only to have Stevie inform me that he can only watch new episodes with his roommate, Mikey. Something about some sort of "pact" they have, and watching it without Mike would feel like cheating on him. In my jealous, passive-aggressive petulance I turned the channel to a Facts of Life marathon on Logo. And left it there. For hours. Until it was time to go to the Eagle. Yeah, I'm definitely not proud of that. Especially now that I can't get that damn theme song out of my head.

The funny thing is that I couldn't tell if it even bothered Stevie in the least, as he seemed to enjoy every minute of it.

Despite these few glitches, I had a fabulous visit with Stevie B and I can only hope he enjoyed it as much as we did. After all, one can't expect everything to go perfectly, right? Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, you take them both and there you have... Goddammit.